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Home / Lifestyle

Are you ‘triggered’ or just upset?

Melinda Wenner Moyer
New York Times·
19 Jun, 2026 06:00 AM5 mins to read

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When someone says they’re feeling triggered while having an argument, the comment can “function as an emergency brake”, says clinical psychologist Rachel Needle, ending what might have otherwise been constructive dialogue. Photo / 123RF

When someone says they’re feeling triggered while having an argument, the comment can “function as an emergency brake”, says clinical psychologist Rachel Needle, ending what might have otherwise been constructive dialogue. Photo / 123RF

This popular term is often misused, experts say, which may cause more harm than good.

In the course of a therapy session with Rachel Needle, a clinical psychologist in the US state of Florida, patients sometimes say they feel “triggered” by a variety of things, from everyday annoyances to devastating reminders of traumatic events.

These events vary so much that the word trigger has lost much of its meaning, Needle has found. While the term is rooted in trauma psychology, the way it’s applied clinically does not always align with how it’s commonly used.

In a popular thread with more than 400 comments on Reddit, users shared “uncommon triggers” that remind them of unpleasant past experiences, including SpaghettiOs, the smell of body wax or foods in crinkly bags.

Yael Schonbrun, a clinical psychologist at Brown University, said while there are benefits to incorporating psychological terms like trigger into the public lexicon – doing so can reduce stigma and build a cultural shorthand to help people describe their feelings and experiences – there can be a downside, too.

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The overuse of the word trigger can undermine the experiences of people with a history of trauma or mental health disorders, she said, and prompt others to handle challenging experiences in unhealthy ways.

What ‘trigger’ actually means

In psychology, the word trigger has most often been tied to trauma.

A trauma is “an overwhelming event that outmatches a person’s ability to cope in the moment”, said Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist in Cleveland and the senior adviser to the Schubert Center for Child Studies at Case Western Reserve University.

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Traumatic memories affect people differently from the way other memories do, Damour said. When reminded of a traumatic event, some people may feel as if they are re-experiencing it, rather than just remembering it – “like they’re back there, like it’s all happening again”, she said. This involuntary re-experiencing is referred to as having flashbacks.

A trigger is a cue or experience that can prompt a flashback, Damour said, adding it might be a place, smell, sound or situation that “suddenly rockets a person back in time to a traumatic event”.

In psychology, the word trigger has most often been tied to trauma. Photo illustration / Vanessa Saba, The New York Times
In psychology, the word trigger has most often been tied to trauma. Photo illustration / Vanessa Saba, The New York Times

Because flashbacks are so upsetting, many trauma survivors try to avoid their triggers, Schonbrun said. Avoiding a trigger provides a sense of safety and relief that tells the brain the fear and avoidance were warranted. But avoidance can just make things worse, she said, because it reinforces anxiety.

Psychologists typically use a form of treatment called exposure therapy to help people work through traumas by having them recount traumatic experiences in a safe setting, Damour said. The goal is that over time, people stop associating their triggers with immediate danger and learn that they don’t need to avoid them.

The word trigger is sometimes used in other mental health contexts, too, Needle said, typically to describe identifiable cues that increase symptoms or problematic behaviours. For example, people diagnosed with substance use disorders, eating disorders or bipolar disorder might refer to such cues as triggers.

How ‘triggered’ is used outside psychology

When people use the term trigger instead to refer to everyday things that incite annoyance or offence, they run the risk of conflating traumatic experiences or mental health struggles with everyday challenges, several experts said.

There’s a big difference between being affected by something and really developing clinical symptoms, Needle added.

Using triggered to describe negative everyday experiences may also cause people to misinterpret discomfort as danger. They may start to think that bothersome experiences or everyday challenges are harmful, rather than seeing them as opportunities for learning and growth, Needle said.

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If people interpret all negative experiences as harmful or traumatic, they may also “see themselves as permanently damaged rather than capable of handling situations”, Needle added. Some studies suggest that so-called trigger warnings, which are used to protect people from potentially emotionally distressing material, can also reinforce avoidance and anxiety.

A fear of experiencing discomfort when confronted with certain things may even harm relationships, Schonbrun said.

When a person says they’re feeling triggered while having an argument, for example, the comment could “function as an emergency brake”, she said, ending what might have otherwise been constructive dialogue.

Sometimes, the word trigger can also be used sarcastically or dismissively, Needle said – as in, “Oh, you’re just triggered” – to minimise someone’s legitimate negative reaction to a comment or action.

“It is basically a way of saying your response is a ‘you problem’, a sign of weakness or oversensitivity, rather than acknowledging that something genuinely hurtful was said or done,” she said.

Widening our vocabulary beyond ‘triggered’

Given all of these potential pitfalls, what should people do or say when they hear the word in conversation or are tempted to use it?

When Damour hears people say casually that they “feel triggered”, she doesn’t chide them. “I usually just say, ‘Tell me more about that,’” she said.

Needle suggested that people try to reflect on their difficult experiences and to use more specific words or phrases to describe their feelings, like, “That really frustrated me,” or, “That reminded me of something difficult that happened in the past.”

“That kind of language is more accurate,” Needle said, “and it also helps people understand what you’re actually feeling and needing in that moment.”

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

Written by: Melinda Wenner Moyer

Photo illustration by: Vanessa Saba

©2026 THE NEW YORK TIMES

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